Milkshakes and Moshing

Andddd the first concert of the new year was a doozy. The 17-year-old Warped Tour fan in me was thrilled to see that one of my favorite bands, Coheed and Cambria, was playing at the 9:30 Club last Monday. Two of my best friends, Pat and Jeff joined me downtown after work to get some led out. We met up at Old Dominion Brewhouse at Mt. Vernon Square, which might have the best happy hour in town. After catching up and examining the previous setlist, we made the 7 block treck to U Street. What happened next might’ve been better than the actual concert. We stumbled into the bar adjacent to the club, Satellite Room. The bar had the feel of a really hip diner, complete with savory bar food (I’ve heard that the burgers are amazing) and MAYBE the best drink in the entire city. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you: the adult milkshake. I got the classic Vincent Vega (named after John Travolta in Pulp Fiction, if you didn’t know), which was a vanilla milkshake with bulleit bourbon. It was amazing, very boozy, but not overdone, it felt like a creamy, smokey, drink. Plenty of milkshake and bourbon flavor. I debated whether or not to go with another milkshake (I was thinking the Lucy Ricardo – chocolate with Johnnie Walker Black) but I stuck with a DC Brau. The show didn’t start until 9:45, which was really really late! The opener, Between the Buried and Me, was ok, not great, not bad. But we were there to see Claudio. When we saw that mangy bush of hair approaching the microphone, the whole room went nuts. We waited quietly in the corner, singing along, for the first three songs. Once the opening twang of the electric guitar signaled No World for Tomorrow, we pushed our way into the middle of the room, and proceeded to go buckwild. I’m positive that I saw Jeff and Pat crown surfing at various points in the show. I prefer to keep my feet on the ground. By the end of the night, we were all sweating profusely, we didn’t need our jackets at all to brave the 30 degree weather. I left the show with a signed vinyl from their merch stand to add to my collection, so all in all, a really really good night!

Greetings!

Okay has it been a long time or what?!?! When I started this blog a little under a year ago, I did it as a creative outlet to just keep writing and for myself. I had grand ideas and dreams for this project: I envisioned hundreds of posts, spanning all topics, from current events, to technology, sports and popular culture. Here I sit 10 months later, and I might not even have 10 posts written, which is just horrendous. I know it doesn’t matter to anyone but me, as I’m the only person to read this, but I seriously slacked off and got lazy. And I feel bad about it. But that’s what New Year’s are for: new beginnings. I know how sappy and corny that sounds, but I made it one of my resolutions just to keep up with my blog. Even if it’s just a random update so my ONE reader knows I still walk the earth.

 

I’m not really sure about what to write about, I got some cool christmas gifts I could share with you. But perhaps the highlight of the Christmas season was going to Milwaukee, Wisconsin to visit my Morgan’s family, which I pretty much consider my second family. I made the loooooong drive out there two days after spending Christmas with my family in Virginia. Looking back, I was pertty foolish to undertake this long drive alone (let alone at all). It took almost 14 hours (throw in snowy weather outside of Pittsburgh and the hour time change also and it was more like 15 and a half) and it was nearly unbearable. But thankfully, Morgan put together an AMAZING road trip package for me, including a lot of yummy snacks, some energy drinks, a car cell phone charger, World War Z on audiobook, and a month’s subscription to Spotify premium! The trip was a breeze with all of those goodies. Upon arrival in Wisconsin, I was greeted by the family and I really did feel like I was at home. It felt so good to see them all and just sit around and converse, that exchanging the presents I lugged up for them was a distant afterthought. As I get older, I see just how little I care about the commercial elements of Christmas. I really just have the greatest time seeing the people I care about the most! I won’t rehash the whole week, I don’t want to steal Morgan’s thunder. Besides, she’ll have a much better post dissecting the whole trip than I could ever dream about writing. I just wanted to write something to just get the juices flowing. I’ll be back soon, I promise this time!

Sean Gone

Since last week was my vacation (and I slept through the second half of the hometown dates) I didn’t write a blog response to the hometown date episode. Whatever, Chris left, which shouldn’t have shocked anyone. I guess he had more pressing matters, like starring on Bachelor Pad (which will be recapped here, rest assured). So I’m boring myself, let’s delve into the last episode.

 

 

Sean makes a teary exit, really they are tears of joy because he doesn’t have to spend eternity with that shrew Emily (courtesy of thehollywoodgossip.com)

 

 

So we’re in lovely Curacao for this week, and this week is a special week. As if all of the other’s weren’t special. This is the fantasy suite night, which they did a pretty good job of playing down, AND it’s the week where the men usually pronounce their love to Emily, which is amazing, because I have a hard time believing these guys are smart enough to ‘pronounce’ anything.

So let’s go, we get a beautiful opening scene where we see the gorgeous island of Curacao. Get a good look, because the weeks after the bachelorette crew leaves, the island nation will begin the massive scale fumigation process. We get some nice shots of an American Airlines plane touching down (product placement, yo) and Emily delves further into her relationship with the guys. Sean is a frontrunner, but Emily has reservations, like why hasn’t Sean said ‘I love you’ to Emily? We, the viewers, know that Sean has a ‘hard time giving himself to women’ (whatever the fuck that means). She’s hoping that he can muster up the courage to tell her how he feels on their date. Emily likes the fact that Sean will be there for her no matter what, which is like no shit, you’re friggin getting married. And she likes that about him. I don’t know what the hell she means.

There’s Jef, who looks like a modern Marty McFly rolling up on the skateboard behind the limo, hair unfazed. This is one of the more surprising choices, because Emily is so southern, blonde, and frankly, very dumb, and Jef is (probably) a liberal atheist who owns his own organic bottled water company and dresses like the consummate hipster (Emily probably thinks a ‘hipster’ is a bone or something.)

Then there’s Arie, who’s a racecar driver. She likes that. And they have a deep connection. Which means they make out. A lot. Arie is on the road a lot for his career, which is the most desirable trait in a father. Arie also brings out the youthfulness in Emily…..who is 26?!?! Jesus, Emily, you must feel ancient.

First date time, Sean meanders up the beach and they enjoy a nice little picnic on the beach or something like that. This is a good date because he has the first opportunity to um, ahem, consummate, the relationship, before ‘Jef-rey’ and Arie. So there’s a small consolation in having to go first. Emily is concerned because he hasn’t told her how he really feels. I guess phrases like “I’m starting to fall in love with you” and “I can see myself marrying you” and “I would love to be a father to Ricki” don’t hold much clout.

The awkward silence that WE ALL KNOW should be filled with “I love you” is filled instead with a plea to “go snorkeling”. Emily realizes that maybe Sean would be a better match with Ricki instead. This date is stupid.

At dinner, she incessantly pokes and prods him, until FINALLY, Sean bursts out like his heart can’t take it “I LOVE THIS WOMAN!!!!!” Actually, Sean sounds like a real loser and says THE SAME THING he’s been saying for weeks, “I’m falling in love with you.” Astounded by this massive revelation, Emily seems a little more at ease, and she starts to see all of the qualities that make him an ideal husband: his ability to speak in public in foreign lands, his ability to find her in a city of millions in the middle of night, and his abs. And then he reads some letter to Ricki that Chris Harrison (or Emily) probably wrote and is passing it off as his own. Then he gets a card that’s way better than the bullshit one he “Wrote”. The magical fantasy suite card, because the “Night Full of Sex” card was just a little too risqué (plus, Emily can’t spell half of those words). Sean cautiously accepts, but his mind is probably vigorously nodding it’s head yes. Cue to hot tub, or as I refer to it, Area 51. They are making out, and Emily tells us that it’ll be hard to tell Sean to hit the road, and sleep in his own place tonight. She wants to be a good role model for Ricki, which I find ironic because as the voice over utters those exact words, she is smack dab in the middle of a very intense make out sesh with Shawn (Shaun? Ohh Sean). Also, I think it’s a litttttle late for you to be an advocate for abstinence…

Next date, Jeffffffffffffff is up, and he has a plan to turn the tables on HER and ask HER about his concerns. Whoah! Talk about game changing. JeF and Emily go on a boat ride, and they’re both spewing off inanities left and right. I’m pretty sure Jef at one point says “I love hanging out with parents” (WTF does that mean?) and something about how their love is like a “masterpiece being painted”, which is agreeable, if it was being painted by Jackson Pollack, Paul Gaugin, or Hieronymus Bosch. He then utters some mystical phrase about how their love is starting as the sun is setting. Or maybe it was her. I don’t know. I don’t care.

Jef puts Mike Wallace to shame by asking the tough questions: “Like, what is life like with, like, Ricki, like?” and “Where would you, like, want to, like, I dunno, like, move to, or like, live together?” She answers that she would like them to start in a new place, which of course means she’ll pack up and move out to BF Utah and I dunno, work on the board for his water company, or be a Salt Lake Socialite or something. His final question is an important one, asking why she’s an amazing woman, and she attracts amazing men, and why all of her relationships have been amazing failures. Emily dodges the question with amazing aplomb, barely making a coherent sentence. This was actually a refreshing sign, because it’s the first time on the show we’ve seen an actual conversation that had some substance. Jef gets the fantasy suite card, and turns it down before she can turn him down, much to her chagrin. Jef then quotes something from the Book of Mormon (seriously).

Arie’s up next, and he’s excited about the date because that means more making out with Emily. Seriously, all he does is kiss her. It’s really annoying. Every time they are in a conversation, it’s interrupted by Arie leaning over and planting one. Don’t blame her though, Arie has a problem. I’m pretty sure he was making out with a couple of dolphins in the water too.

On the date, Emily wants to know if there is more to Arie then just chemistry and heavy make out sessions. Arie explains that, yes there is more, and he would even make out with Ricki. Christ, he’ll make out with the family’s dog and cat if it’ll make her happy. Arie looks drunk, and mumbles out the same questions Jef did the night before, it’s all very boring stuff. Aries asks Emily “Blah blah blah blah,” to which Emily responds “Blah blah blah, yada yada yada.” She doesn’t even offer him the fantasy suite card, because she doesn’t think she can control herself with him. Which is still just as awkward and perverted ad them ACTUALLY going up to the fantasy suite.

Chris Harrison is trying to get in on the fantasy suites too, so… oh never mind, it’s just the requisite feelings chat or some bull shit, cause, you know, there’s still like 50 minutes left in the show. I always hate these things, very boring stuff. Emily blubbers a lot about not being able to sleep with all three of them, Chris nods his head wisely. She stares at their dorky pictures for over 20 minutes, and then watches their video messages they recorded for her. These are boring and clichéd too, but it’s worth nothing that Jef will “make her cheeks hurt……..from laughing so much.”

Roze Ceremony time, they all make their way to the ceremony and wait in agony as Emily milks the camera time for all it’s worth, waltzing down the aisle. Chris Harrison gives the gentlemen a little math lesson, explaining that three is more than two, and that one person is leaving today, leaving just two left. Despite the men’s quizzical looks, the ceremony proceeds. Emily stares at the rose for ages, apparently gazing into its soul, it’s very being, before uttering ‘Jef’. Jef is ecstatic, and frantically looks everywhere for a skateboard so he can ride over to Emily. Alas, there is no one near, and he is forced to use his legs. Now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for: the final rose…of the night. Emily when you’re ready.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Emily?

 

 

 

 

 

EMILY!

 

 

 

 

 

After what seems like a hundred years, Emily chooses Arie to have the second rose. Sean takes this news very hard, but thankfully, does NOT burst into tears. Now he is left to ponder what would’ve happened if he has kissed her 24/7 too. If he owned a bottled water company. If he didn’t live at home with stuffed animals. If his niece and nephew weren’t named ridiculous names like Kensington and Smith. Maybe then. Yes, maybe then, he and Emily would live together in happiness. Until then, maybe he can find a care bear in that pig sty of a room to cuddle with.

For Emily, Wherever I May Find Her…Probably in Prague

We’re back in beautiful Croatia! Or is it Sarajevo? Or Minsk? Or some other random eastern bloc city that still looks as cold as ice (both in weather and demeanor). Ahh no matter. The guys are all ready to find love. Prague! That’s it, Prague. I knew they were in some city that looked exactly like the city THEY WERE JUST IN. No worries though, for all the guys know, they could be in Cleveland now. Or Detroit.

They are all focused 100% on Emily. Or maybe 20% on Emily and 80% on Ricki. Are any of these guys REALLY fit to be Dads?!?! Arie gets the first date card, and (shocker) Emily senses that maybe he’s not entirely honest. Maybe she has a special sense and can tell when a guy’s not being honest, or maybe she gets a subscription to Us Weekly. Regardless, she incessantly prods the badass racecar driver about “not being honest” and “being open” (and other terrific ‘Bachelorette’ specific lingo *right reasons, anyone??*) to the point where it’s painfully obvious (to her, at least) that she wants him to spill the beans about his previous fairy tale love story where he fell madly in love with a Bachelor producer , culminating in an amazing two date relationship 7 years ago.

To many (men), this would not matter (well the GF put this in perspective…to me, it wouldn’t matter. I really didn’t think it was a big deal. I thought there was a statute of limitations or something when discussing exes that both parties know. If the relationship was over a couple of months, then I can see WHY Emily would be upset. Seeing as the romance between Arie and the producer lasted less than that, I didn’t think it was a big deal. Obviously, girls think differently, so I guess for the purposes of THE BACHELORETTE, this detail is important.)

We see in the ‘interview’ with Cassie and Emily that Em is completely shocked (she shouldn’t be) and taken aback (she shouldn’t be) that this would happen. We learn two important things from her statement “this isn’t a production thing, this is real life!”: that we now know that the contestants know just how much of a production The Bachelorette really is AND that Emily CAN tell the difference between real and fake (which leaves me puzzled as to why she kept Ryan and Kalon on for so long in the first place).

Anywho, after continuous prodding and nagging (get used to it, Arie, it’s good practice for marriage), we are taken aback by a shocking revelation…that Arie has a tattoo…WITH ANOTHER WOMAN’S NAME. Perhaps it’s said producer? Perhaps it’s Emily, and he got it in advance? Maybe it’s Ricki’s?!?! But this is apparently enough for Emily to forget about the whole producer dealio and suck face with Arie.

Before that, Chris Harrison is back in LA?!?! recapping what we just saw, and explaining that the entire chat between Cassie, Arie, and Emily took place OFF camera, because of course it did. Did we REALLY expect that this would happen in the open? I’m bored of this date, so let’s move on to the next one

Wolfgang Amadeus John gets the next date card, and Chris can’t help but think that if he had a nickname like Tiger or Bear or Megatron, he would be having that date. John’s date is so dull and boring that I won’t waste too much time on it, but it did make me laugh at her monotone reading of the cuecards. I am also surprised she pronounced ‘communism’ correctly (my money was on ‘communion’ or ‘communication’. Or ‘commute’) and that she didn’t say John Lemmon when saying John Lennon. The date is filled with awkward silences, awkward body language, awkward dinner settings (dungeon?!?) and awkward lock putting on-ing. John, the delusional bastard he is, thinks the date is going swimmingly. Emily is having reservations. I want to gouge my eyes out. Perhaps John pulled out the grandparents funeral cards a tad too early? Only time will tell.

Sean then proceeds to do the creepiest, most staged, ridiculous thing this whole season, by trying to go out into the streets of Prague looking for Emily. He can’t take it that he has no one on one time with her. So, of course, venturing out in the middle of the night in a city of over 1 million to find one woman. Of course, Emily is standing alone in an alleyway (because, what better place for an attractive, mid 20’s blonde woman to post up: alone an alleyway in Prague). Somehow, Sean basically weasels a one on one date. I think I was the only person in the room who was pissed off at Sean. He basically did the same thing Courtney did, except with clothing.

Group Date time, Chris and Doug are both PO’d about it, Sean had a one on one last night AND a group date, so he’s feeling good. Doug gets pulled aside and looks as if he’s talking one on one with Jerry Sandusky: he is scared shitless. He is leaning away, stuttering, and basically, I can sense his palms are like Niagara Falls. Emily senses it too, and calls him out on his awkwardness. She knows what she needs to do…cut him loose.

Doug takes the long walk down to the car. Literally, a long walk, she marches him down a spiral staircase in a medieval castle. A looooooong walk. Doug sensing that he’s about to go, gives one last ditch effort, culminating in the most desperate, and pathetic kiss ever. Mid-sentence, he swoops in for the kill, completely catching her off guard, then flashing that doofy smile afterwards like he just won a medal at the Olympics. Nice try, dumbass, but it’s not going to help. Heading back to Seattle, Doug (between sobs) ponders wordlessly about his future. I can imagine his son Austin, at home, calling in to a talk radio show and having his father meet the next love of his life on top of the Empire State Building…

Sean gets the group rose, because no shit. Chris is upset and makes threats about going apeshit if he doesn’t get a hometown date. Do you REALLY want him to be the father of your children? Well maybe, Emily, if she’s a fan of The Omen or Rosemary’s Baby. In that case, Chris would produce a wonderful child!

Jef has a one on one. Jeff buys a puppet for Rickie, Jef plays with puppets with Emily, Jef kisses her in a cool old library, Jef has a good date. Jef is cool. JeFTW

Chris is a loser. He really is looking like a crackhead tweaking, and Emily, the girl he’s known for 6 weeks and shared with 20 other guys, is his drug. He is going insane during the lead up to the cocktail party, twitching and sweating and crying (?). He really is the most immature 25 year old I’ve ever seen. (This guy is 2 years older than us. Seriously?!?!?! And Emily is three years older, although, she looks like she’s 26 going on 35.) Chris’ nervousness is really aided by Wolf’s awesomeness in this moment. Wolf is going on and on about what a wonderful date and about how much he and Emily connected (they didn’t). This drives Chris into hysterics, which made for the most entertaining part of the night. I almost don’t want to see him get kicked off because he is such a basket case. Emily should just keep him out of fear that he might harm himself OR others.

No cocktail party! Emily drops this bombshell, which makes Chris rip out huge chunks of his hair and foams at the mouth. The rest of the Bachelors traipse their way into the rose ceremony, the now bald and rabid Chris takes a huge bite out of the Wolf’s face, and is nearing his transformation into a wild animal. Jef, Arie get roses, leaving Wolf, and Werewolf as the last two. Chris, sensing he might kill everyone in the room if he loses, pulls a fast one and asks for one on one time with Emily. Emily, wisely asks the camera crew to go with her for protection. In a last ditch effort to stay, Chris professes his love for Emily, and a bunch of other BS that I can’t remember, because I was too busy laughing at what a tool this guy is.

They head back to the rose ceremony, and Emily deliberates for what seems like 5 hours, until whispering that Chris, yes, Crackhead Chris, gets the final rose. John should’ve had a job in Chris Destruction instead of Data Destruction, but alas, Wolf is heading home to destroy more salacious and raunchy emails from the mistresses of rich, cheating, businessmen, and Chris is taking Emily to his hometown, the seventh layer of hell.

Should be a doozy next week!

Painting for March 29

Today’s painting is Pierre-Auguste Renoir’s masterpiece “Luncheon of the Boating Party”, one of the most celebrated works of he impressionist era. It’s a glimpse of high society life in France in the 1880′s. One of the highlights of the painting is the separation of space , from the crowded and lively right side of the frame, to the empty, more spacious left side. Interestingly enough, the figure in the right foreground of the painting is Gustave Caillebotte, famous impressionist and art patron, and author of the painting from March 27th, “Paris Street, Rainy Day”

By Pierre-Auguste Renoir

Painting for March 28

Here is today’s painting, the beautiful “Cafè Terrace at Night” by Vincent van Gogh. Painted in 1888, this beautiful scene depicts night life in turn of the century Paris. This was van Gogh’s first night time painting, and the stars hown here would serve as the basis for his most famous work, “Starry Night”

New Twitter Idea

Well, it’s not so much only for twitter, but I can do it on my blog as well. I was sitting in the office today, completely uninspired and wanting tome sort of motivation. I’ve recently been reading Imagine by Jonah Lehrer, and it got me thinking what inspires my creativity. Now, in no way am I saying I’m creative at all, but I simpled it down to this question: what inspires me? Now, this may be odd, but I really get inspired by looking at art. Paintings, sculptures, whatever. Classical, barogue, rococco, impresionism, neo classical, modern, dada, it doesn’t matter. I just love art. So I had the idea that maybe every day for the next year, I will tweet out a random piece of art that I find inspiring, significant, or that I just like. It’s not some ploy to gain followers, or to lose followers, or petty shit like that. It’s just I know what makes me happy, what I like, and maybe other people will feel inspired or moved by what I put up. So without further ado, here was the first post from this experiment…… my favorite painting, “Paris Street, Rainy Day” by Gustave Caillebotte.